I wasn't sure of whether or not to post this here on this blog or on my stamping blog because it has to do with stamping.
This blog won out, simply due to the fact that I try to keep my stamping blog strictly for crafty things and I like to keep it light over there.
I entered a bunch of cards in a challenge over at the Moxie Fab World, and I was really excited about this particular challenge because it used Gray, which is very much a color I am into these days.
I was really happy with the way in which my cards turned out and actually felt that I had a chance to be a winner in this challenge.
The results came out today, and after seeing the winning cards, I went back and looked at mine again, and couldn't believe that I had ever thought that mine were worthy of winning.
Normally I wouldn't care much, but the truth of the matter is, is that it is one of my goals this year to be published in a card making/paper crafting magazine. The results from today do not make this effort look promising.
Yet, because I am a feisty fighter, I will still try. There are a couple of calls coming up in the next week or so. And it's only January. There's a whole lot of year left.
Sorry about the whining. I just had to get it out.
Thanks for stopping by.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Learning to say NO
Has not been easy for me at all.
I am in my thirties, and I still feel like I am on day one of the 'Just say no' program. (This has nothing to do with drugs, mind you.)
All my life I have been a competitor, a fighter. Someone who wants to do everything and be the best that I can be at it. I am slowly finding out, or at least slowly acknowledging that I can't do it all. I can't be everything to every one.
But the tougher part is trying not to feel like a failure in doing so.
Because I feel like a failure. I am sitting here right now, with tears in my eyes still feeling like I should be able to take on certain things in life. I should be able to volunteer at church, at PTA, in my children's classrooms, for my kids' sports teams. I feel like I should be able to take on all the things that I see other women doing. And that I should be absolutely happy and excited about doing it. I want to be able to say 'yes' when I am asked to do something. I often feel like I should have some great excuse for not being able to do something, and all I can offer up is that I have a small baby and three other kids. It just doesn't seem like an adequate enough answer.
Sometimes I feel like I am treading water, just barely able to keep my head above the surface, while watching everyone else around me swimming away with ease. I see so many others around me and I feel like I just can't keep up.
This post, up until this point was written a week ago. I saved it and wanted to sit on it and think about it for a while before posting. As I sat down and read the words I wrote a week ago, I realize that I was really feeling the pressure of so many things. Some of those things have been resolved, and I have since said 'no' to some things which were weighing heavily on my mind.
I feel a lot better.
I still wish that I could do it all, but after some time of reflection about the things which are truly important in life, I don't believe that I am going to regret not being at a PTA meeting. I will however regret not spending enough time with my children while they were little.
I have made my choice about how I want to live my life from this point forward. I think allowing myself to not feel overwhelmed and stressed out all the time will make me a better wife and mother. And I believe that being a better mother for my children will help them tobecome the kind of people I wish the world had more of. That is going to be my contribution.
Now I just need to be able to move on and not feel bad about the choices I am making.
Thanks for stopping by!
I am in my thirties, and I still feel like I am on day one of the 'Just say no' program. (This has nothing to do with drugs, mind you.)
All my life I have been a competitor, a fighter. Someone who wants to do everything and be the best that I can be at it. I am slowly finding out, or at least slowly acknowledging that I can't do it all. I can't be everything to every one.
But the tougher part is trying not to feel like a failure in doing so.
Because I feel like a failure. I am sitting here right now, with tears in my eyes still feeling like I should be able to take on certain things in life. I should be able to volunteer at church, at PTA, in my children's classrooms, for my kids' sports teams. I feel like I should be able to take on all the things that I see other women doing. And that I should be absolutely happy and excited about doing it. I want to be able to say 'yes' when I am asked to do something. I often feel like I should have some great excuse for not being able to do something, and all I can offer up is that I have a small baby and three other kids. It just doesn't seem like an adequate enough answer.
Sometimes I feel like I am treading water, just barely able to keep my head above the surface, while watching everyone else around me swimming away with ease. I see so many others around me and I feel like I just can't keep up.
This post, up until this point was written a week ago. I saved it and wanted to sit on it and think about it for a while before posting. As I sat down and read the words I wrote a week ago, I realize that I was really feeling the pressure of so many things. Some of those things have been resolved, and I have since said 'no' to some things which were weighing heavily on my mind.
I feel a lot better.
I still wish that I could do it all, but after some time of reflection about the things which are truly important in life, I don't believe that I am going to regret not being at a PTA meeting. I will however regret not spending enough time with my children while they were little.
I have made my choice about how I want to live my life from this point forward. I think allowing myself to not feel overwhelmed and stressed out all the time will make me a better wife and mother. And I believe that being a better mother for my children will help them tobecome the kind of people I wish the world had more of. That is going to be my contribution.
Now I just need to be able to move on and not feel bad about the choices I am making.
Thanks for stopping by!
Friday, January 14, 2011
Face Cream and Memories
The face cream I use at night has a scent that reminds me of my Aunt's house.
I don't know why. Perhaps she used the same kind, or for some other reasons I have that smell associated with her and her house. If I close my eyes, I can almost picture myself there. It was a great house, a California Ranch style, on a about an acre of land.
My Aunt loved to garden, and so it was always very beautiful. For a number of years both she and my Uncle as well, were into roses, and had a couple hundred rose bushes. I can remember being there during the summers, and there would always be fresh roses in the house every day.
I would say I spent a good deal of time there, considering we lived about 1000 miles away. Many summers were spent swimming in the pool in the back yard, and playing with my two cousins. I remember playing barbies in the hallway, and spending Christmas' there as well. I remember the 'Angel' tree that she had in her living room and the one year my mom and she took all the angels off the tree and counted them.....for some reason I believe they counted over 750. She loved angels.
As I got older, my Aunt would have projects for us to earn money, which was awesome as a teenager, and great for me,(perhaps not as much so for my cousins), as it always seems easier to do work for someone who is not your parent, and in a place that is not your own home. Why is that, I wonder.
I haven't been there in many years, and they have done some extensive remodeling, so I know it won't be exactly the same the next time I am there. The pool in the back yard is gone, replaced with what I hear is a beautiful guest house. But in some ways I think it will be the same.
I have such good childhood and adolescent memories of there, no only of just the house, but of the people. I had so much fun with my cousins growing up. I wish that I would have stayed closer to them over the years, as I am am only child, they probably would be the closest thing I would have to sisters. We do stay somewhat in touch....one is in the Bay Area in California, and the other back in D.C. I am hoping that this summer we will all be able to get together for a little family reunion of sorts.
It's funny how in those years of your late teens and early twenties, when the world has opened up to you and you find you can make your own decisions about anything at any time, that the things that matter most in life somehow take a back seat, and now I find myself eagerly trying to get back to those roots of happiness.
I hope that sometime in the near future I can get down to visit my Aunt, and once again be in the house that held so many good memories of my childhood.
Thanks for stopping by.
I don't know why. Perhaps she used the same kind, or for some other reasons I have that smell associated with her and her house. If I close my eyes, I can almost picture myself there. It was a great house, a California Ranch style, on a about an acre of land.
My Aunt loved to garden, and so it was always very beautiful. For a number of years both she and my Uncle as well, were into roses, and had a couple hundred rose bushes. I can remember being there during the summers, and there would always be fresh roses in the house every day.
I would say I spent a good deal of time there, considering we lived about 1000 miles away. Many summers were spent swimming in the pool in the back yard, and playing with my two cousins. I remember playing barbies in the hallway, and spending Christmas' there as well. I remember the 'Angel' tree that she had in her living room and the one year my mom and she took all the angels off the tree and counted them.....for some reason I believe they counted over 750. She loved angels.
As I got older, my Aunt would have projects for us to earn money, which was awesome as a teenager, and great for me,(perhaps not as much so for my cousins), as it always seems easier to do work for someone who is not your parent, and in a place that is not your own home. Why is that, I wonder.
I haven't been there in many years, and they have done some extensive remodeling, so I know it won't be exactly the same the next time I am there. The pool in the back yard is gone, replaced with what I hear is a beautiful guest house. But in some ways I think it will be the same.
I have such good childhood and adolescent memories of there, no only of just the house, but of the people. I had so much fun with my cousins growing up. I wish that I would have stayed closer to them over the years, as I am am only child, they probably would be the closest thing I would have to sisters. We do stay somewhat in touch....one is in the Bay Area in California, and the other back in D.C. I am hoping that this summer we will all be able to get together for a little family reunion of sorts.
It's funny how in those years of your late teens and early twenties, when the world has opened up to you and you find you can make your own decisions about anything at any time, that the things that matter most in life somehow take a back seat, and now I find myself eagerly trying to get back to those roots of happiness.
I hope that sometime in the near future I can get down to visit my Aunt, and once again be in the house that held so many good memories of my childhood.
Thanks for stopping by.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Plight of the Laundry
Just had to share my amusing (now) experience from yesterday.
As Kellan was laying in my bed yesterday morning, because that is where he wakes up every morning, which is an entirely different story, he managed to leak through his diaper, through his fuzzy pajamas, the blanket that was wrapped around him, and soaked my sheets.
So I had to wash all the sheets, big deal.
I already had a bunch of laundry going, so I just added all my sheets to the line-up. Late in the afternoon, I managed to get the mattress pad back on the bed, but was still waiting for the sheets to finish in the dryer.
Finally at about 7pm, the sheets finished and I brought them upstairs and threw them into a pile on the bed, and went to get Kellan out of the bathroom from taking a shower with dad!
I proceeded to lay Kellan up on my bed and he was being so cute, all fresh from his shower, and wrapped in his towel, that I had to get a picture of him. I ran out and grabbed my camera, and when I returned, he had managed to pee all over my newly washed bed.
Good times.
So back into the washing machine went my mattress pad for the second time that day. And my bed did not get made earlier on in the evening like I had hoped. I swear there is something in the universe that won't allow me to have my bed made before 11pm. Even if I get the sheets all washed before lunch!
And by the way, I went ahead and took the pictures anyway.
Thanks for stopping by!
Monday, January 10, 2011
I AM...
a mother of 4 boys
a wife
a procrastinator
a lover of music
a short-order cook
an idealist
a worrier
a HUGE football fan
a survivor
a daughter
a church goer
a paper crafter
an only child
an avid book reader
a coupon clipper
a runner
a beach bum
a TV watcher
a singer
a laundry folder
a homework helper
a blogger
a friend
a gardener
a dog walker
a cat owner
a chocolate lover
a shoulder to cry on
a creator
a taxi driver
a soccer mom
a skeptic
a business owner
a creature of habit
a pinochle player
a movie goer
a volunteer
a golfer
a night owl
I am also none of these things.
I am a Child Of GOD.
a wife
a procrastinator
a lover of music
a short-order cook
an idealist
a worrier
a HUGE football fan
a survivor
a daughter
a church goer
a paper crafter
an only child
an avid book reader
a coupon clipper
a runner
a beach bum
a TV watcher
a singer
a laundry folder
a homework helper
a blogger
a friend
a gardener
a dog walker
a cat owner
a chocolate lover
a shoulder to cry on
a creator
a taxi driver
a soccer mom
a skeptic
a business owner
a creature of habit
a pinochle player
a movie goer
a volunteer
a golfer
a night owl
I am also none of these things.
I am a Child Of GOD.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Adjusting
This years' Christmas has been a bit strange for me. It seemed as if I waited and waited for it to arrive, and then it all came on so very fast. I didin't feel like I was able to enjoy things the way I wanted to or the way I have been able to in years past.
On Christmas Day, after all the presents were opened and everyone had eaten a delicious breakfast, I sat down and seriously contemplated taking down Christmas. I looked over to Kerry, who was deeply involved in one of his new books, and asked if it would be crazy to take down the tree right then and there. He told me, that yes, it would in fact be crazy to take down the tree, as it was still Christmas day.
I relented and the tree is still up. Although last night I was able to get everything else packed up and put away in the garage. It feels so good to have my house back to 'normal' again. It always amazes me at how empty it feels when all the excess stuff has been packed away.
As I was packing up all of the Christmas things, I began to think about the coming year and how it is going to be getting out of the holiday mode and bakc int olife in the new year.
I know we all have resolutions and goals for the coming year. In the past I have found that arriving at the goal is not where it's at. It is the journey. And as life itself is the largest of journeys, I just hope that I can be better in the coming year than I was in the past. It's baby steps really, but I find that those baby steps added together always seem to carry me the greatest distance.
What are you hoping for in the new year? I hope that you can take a little time in your busy days to reflect about what you want in life and how to truly achieve it. I hope that I can do this for myself as well. Thanks to all of you who visit me here. I really do appreciate your comments and thoughts and emails regarding the things that I share here.
It is my most sincere wish that all of you have a most splendid beginning to the new year!
Thanks for stopping by.
On Christmas Day, after all the presents were opened and everyone had eaten a delicious breakfast, I sat down and seriously contemplated taking down Christmas. I looked over to Kerry, who was deeply involved in one of his new books, and asked if it would be crazy to take down the tree right then and there. He told me, that yes, it would in fact be crazy to take down the tree, as it was still Christmas day.
I relented and the tree is still up. Although last night I was able to get everything else packed up and put away in the garage. It feels so good to have my house back to 'normal' again. It always amazes me at how empty it feels when all the excess stuff has been packed away.
As I was packing up all of the Christmas things, I began to think about the coming year and how it is going to be getting out of the holiday mode and bakc int olife in the new year.
I know we all have resolutions and goals for the coming year. In the past I have found that arriving at the goal is not where it's at. It is the journey. And as life itself is the largest of journeys, I just hope that I can be better in the coming year than I was in the past. It's baby steps really, but I find that those baby steps added together always seem to carry me the greatest distance.
What are you hoping for in the new year? I hope that you can take a little time in your busy days to reflect about what you want in life and how to truly achieve it. I hope that I can do this for myself as well. Thanks to all of you who visit me here. I really do appreciate your comments and thoughts and emails regarding the things that I share here.
It is my most sincere wish that all of you have a most splendid beginning to the new year!
Thanks for stopping by.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Everything
As I began to think about writing this post, I could not for the life of me think of a good title. There is no much on my mind and my heart is so full with so many different things it feels like it could explode. I decided on the title 'Everything' because to me just about everything is involved in what I am feeling and in what I want to express.
I had to run a couple of really quick errands today, and since Kerry is working today, even though it is a Saturday(that's a completely different story) I loaded up the boys and went on my way.
I had some Christmas music playing, and a couple of songs really got me to thinking about this special time of year, and about life in general. About the things I TRULY BELIEVE IN, and how I want my life to be, how I want to raise my children, and how I want to make a difference in the world around me.
This time of year is crazy. There's no doubt about that. Even with the business, I love the Christmas season. I wish the feelings we hold in our hearts, and the way in which we interact with others could last and be with us each and every day throughout the year. I wish I could be more tolerant of others, not be so quick to anger and frustration. I wish that in the middle of March or July or September we could be as concerned with those around us who are not as fortunate as we are.
As I look into the eyes of my children, it is my sincere hope that I am teaching them the things that will truly make them happy honorable and charitable human beings. I hope that they will go out into the world as they leave my home and do better than I have. I hope they are loving and giving and tolerant of their fellow men. I hope they look for opportunities to give to and serve others. This is what brings true joy in life and it is my prayer that they will be able to feel this as they learn and grow in each of their lives.
There is happiness in seeing my children's eyes light up on Christmas morning. Seeing their excitement and anticipation in those marvelous days leading up to Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I know that they are still very young and are not capable of mastering all of the thoughts and feelings and emotions of the true meaning of Christmas. Someday I hope they will.
It is amazing to me the amount of time and money and stress that goes into the material side of this Christmas season. Finding that perfect gift. Getting the 'best deal' out there. And then when we have acquired it all, and wrapped it up and given it, the day after Christmas arrives and there we are as a nation......hitting the stores for the sales to acquire even more.
This past year has brought many things to my attention. I have thought a lot and dealt a lot with 'things' and their place in my life and how they hold me prisoner in ways that I never imagined. How I along with so many countless others have SO much of what we don't need, while we search for those things that we do need. Love. Companionship. Trust.
I guess this really magnifies itself during this time of year. How much better would our lives be if we put the effort into our relationships with our family and close friends that we put into the material side of the holidays. I think of some of the most amazing times of my life, and some of my best memories, and none of them, not even one, has to do with material possessions. They are the moments spent on the beach with my family during an incredible sunset, they are the times playing games with friends when you can't stop laughing. They are the times spent discovering new places with my children. I could really go on and on and on, but I think you get what I am trying to convey.
All of us are going to leave this earthly existence at some point. What are the things that are going to mean the most to you at that moment before you go? I have never heard of someone asking for their designer clothes, expensive jewelery, or fabulous cars to be brought to them. It's the people you love that you want the most.
I think of my father a lot, and how I never got the chance to get to know him as he died before I even was 3 years old. I would give up anything I own, or could ever own, just to be able to see him smile and hug him. There isn't ANY THING that is worth more than a relationship you can have with those that you love.
I think of those who for whatever reason cannot be with those that they love during this season. My heart goes out to all of those who are now or who have had to spend a Christmas without a loved one who is or has honorably served our country in the military. I don't know how those families do it. Being apart from each other is one thing, but knowing that someone you love is in possible danger as well, would be more than I could handle. I am so thankful to those individuals and their families who make this amazing sacrifice so that I can have the freedoms and liberties and time with my loved ones in a safe country.
I know this post has been quite long winded and I don't even know if I have been able to adequately convey what is in my heart and my mind.
Most of all I pray for peace. I pray that children throughout the world do not have to be scared or lonely or hungry. I pray that the light that is in each one of us will be able to overshadow the darkness and the hurt and wrong that occur in our world. I pray that each and every day throughout all the remaining days of my life that I will be able to be an advocate of love and peace and understanding for all those whom I come into contact with.
I wish you and yours a most magical and splendid Christmas season.
Thanks for stopping by.
I had to run a couple of really quick errands today, and since Kerry is working today, even though it is a Saturday(that's a completely different story) I loaded up the boys and went on my way.
I had some Christmas music playing, and a couple of songs really got me to thinking about this special time of year, and about life in general. About the things I TRULY BELIEVE IN, and how I want my life to be, how I want to raise my children, and how I want to make a difference in the world around me.
This time of year is crazy. There's no doubt about that. Even with the business, I love the Christmas season. I wish the feelings we hold in our hearts, and the way in which we interact with others could last and be with us each and every day throughout the year. I wish I could be more tolerant of others, not be so quick to anger and frustration. I wish that in the middle of March or July or September we could be as concerned with those around us who are not as fortunate as we are.
As I look into the eyes of my children, it is my sincere hope that I am teaching them the things that will truly make them happy honorable and charitable human beings. I hope that they will go out into the world as they leave my home and do better than I have. I hope they are loving and giving and tolerant of their fellow men. I hope they look for opportunities to give to and serve others. This is what brings true joy in life and it is my prayer that they will be able to feel this as they learn and grow in each of their lives.
There is happiness in seeing my children's eyes light up on Christmas morning. Seeing their excitement and anticipation in those marvelous days leading up to Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I know that they are still very young and are not capable of mastering all of the thoughts and feelings and emotions of the true meaning of Christmas. Someday I hope they will.
It is amazing to me the amount of time and money and stress that goes into the material side of this Christmas season. Finding that perfect gift. Getting the 'best deal' out there. And then when we have acquired it all, and wrapped it up and given it, the day after Christmas arrives and there we are as a nation......hitting the stores for the sales to acquire even more.
This past year has brought many things to my attention. I have thought a lot and dealt a lot with 'things' and their place in my life and how they hold me prisoner in ways that I never imagined. How I along with so many countless others have SO much of what we don't need, while we search for those things that we do need. Love. Companionship. Trust.
I guess this really magnifies itself during this time of year. How much better would our lives be if we put the effort into our relationships with our family and close friends that we put into the material side of the holidays. I think of some of the most amazing times of my life, and some of my best memories, and none of them, not even one, has to do with material possessions. They are the moments spent on the beach with my family during an incredible sunset, they are the times playing games with friends when you can't stop laughing. They are the times spent discovering new places with my children. I could really go on and on and on, but I think you get what I am trying to convey.
All of us are going to leave this earthly existence at some point. What are the things that are going to mean the most to you at that moment before you go? I have never heard of someone asking for their designer clothes, expensive jewelery, or fabulous cars to be brought to them. It's the people you love that you want the most.
I think of my father a lot, and how I never got the chance to get to know him as he died before I even was 3 years old. I would give up anything I own, or could ever own, just to be able to see him smile and hug him. There isn't ANY THING that is worth more than a relationship you can have with those that you love.
I think of those who for whatever reason cannot be with those that they love during this season. My heart goes out to all of those who are now or who have had to spend a Christmas without a loved one who is or has honorably served our country in the military. I don't know how those families do it. Being apart from each other is one thing, but knowing that someone you love is in possible danger as well, would be more than I could handle. I am so thankful to those individuals and their families who make this amazing sacrifice so that I can have the freedoms and liberties and time with my loved ones in a safe country.
I know this post has been quite long winded and I don't even know if I have been able to adequately convey what is in my heart and my mind.
Most of all I pray for peace. I pray that children throughout the world do not have to be scared or lonely or hungry. I pray that the light that is in each one of us will be able to overshadow the darkness and the hurt and wrong that occur in our world. I pray that each and every day throughout all the remaining days of my life that I will be able to be an advocate of love and peace and understanding for all those whom I come into contact with.
I wish you and yours a most magical and splendid Christmas season.
Thanks for stopping by.
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